Tired does not always equal sleepy

dog tired

And exhausted (dog tired) does not equal sleepy, at least in my world. The longer I dwell in the land of insomnia, I am finding more and more people who are also struggling with the wish of a natural good night’s sleep. The other night, I was telling my sweet and wonderful husband how tired I was (yes, whine a little). He very innocently told me to go on to bed and he would clean up from dinner. I am sure the look I gave him could have turned him to stone. No, I was not mad, I just felt isolated and desolated at that moment that he does not understand me. Of all the people, he truly does understand that pharmaceuticals are involved in me being able to sleep, but his kind thought of in letting me go to bed early was not as appreciated as it should have been. Please forgive me, Sweetie.

Anyway, to truly to go to sleep, I take an Rx med to make my brain shut off for awhile, plus I take an allergy med and melatonin at night. Before May 1, 2014, this cocktail of meds would have knocked me unconscious for 12 hours. Now, I do pretty well if I sleep soundly for 3 hours, and then I sleep in 1  1/2 hour increments. Sometimes I will sleep for a total of 8 hours in a night, but it is never a solid sleep.

A sweet young lady from my church was also expressing on Facebook her struggle with insomnia, and she received a lot of good-intended but unhelpful hints. One kind older gentleman told her if she got tired enough, her body would let her sleep. I laughed out loud at his comment and then messaged her that she was not alone in this struggle. The only things that happen to me if I try to go without pharmaceutical help to sleep are paranoia and hallucinations as I roll and drift ever so close to sleep without ever accomplishing the task. I then get up foggy, grumpy, irrational and all the other horrible things you don’t want your wife or coworker to be. I took the sleep study route to try to discover why I cannot sleep, and there were no results that helped understand what is going on or not going on in my brain to make me unable to sleep. BTW, the longest I have gone without sleeping is 48 hours, and I don’t think I could do that again. Yes, if I were tortured by sleep deprivation, I would confess almost anything you wanted me to. LOL.

God has a reason and purpose for all of this, and I am trusting that He will get some sort of glory out of it. Figuring out how it could be for my good and His glory is not clear at all right now, but He is in control of even this. And, I trust Him in this.

I know of a few other ladies at my church who have to take a prescription med to sleep, and it is a little comforting to know I am not alone in this fight.

So, insomniacs of the world, unite! Well, you get the idea. If you struggle with insomnia also, please tell me your story.



  1. I can 100% relate to this. My doctor told me to take a walk an hour before going to bed. The look i gave him!! I haven’t tried medication yet because of the stories people tell me. I roughly get around 3-4 hours of sleep, and if i am lucky those hours will be deep sleep. I have days where i crash and too exhausted to be efficient at work but i am trying to train my body to get used to it

    1. Oh, Charlene, I feel for you. You look so young to have to deal with this! I pray God will lead you to the right solution so you can get the restful sleep that you need. Until then, know there are others all around you who also struggle with this.

      1. Thank you for your kind words

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: